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“Living a Life by Design” - Lydia Wilmsen

“Living a Life by Design” - Lydia Wilmsen

Lydia Wilmsen is a life and mindset coach who helps high-achieving individuals create a life and business they truly love. Born into a religious cult, Lydia’s journey of self-discovery led her to overcome depression, work addiction, and crippling anxiety. With a decade of experience, she now empowers her clients—many of whom have faced their own challenging pasts—to transform hidden limiting beliefs, achieve unshakable inner peace, and unlock their infinite potential through practical strategies and powerful mindset techniques. MysticMag has the pleasure of working with Lydia.

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Lydia, you mention that being born into a religious cult led you to a journey of immense self-discovery and transformation. Can you share more about this experience and how it has shaped your approach to life and mindset coaching?

My journey into mindset and life coaching is deeply rooted in my own experiences of growing up in a cult without realizing it. I was born into a cult and left at the age of 17. One of the defining aspects of life in a cult is the intense brainwashing—manipulation that leads you to think negatively about yourself while idealizing the purpose, ideology, and leaders of the cult. The techniques used are remarkably effective, though deeply harmful.
Through my own experiences, I unknowingly absorbed these manipulative methods, experiencing them firsthand rather than being told they were happening. It wasn’t until I became aware of the situation that I could understand what had been done to me and how it worked. Today, I use this understanding to help my clients reframe their own self-perception. I essentially reverse the process, guiding them to “brainwash” themselves in a positive way—developing a strong, loving self-image and learning to think wonderfully about who they are.
Growing up in a cult taught me how the mind can be shaped in destructive ways, but it also gave me insight into how this same power can be harnessed for good. Most people in cults aren’t aware they’re in one; they believe their experiences are normal, even universal. It took specific events in my life to recognize that I had been raised in a cult. Initially, I went through stages of denial, shame, and avoidance, struggling to accept the truth. Over time, with the help of therapists and coaches, I was able to fully acknowledge my upbringing and use it as a foundation for personal growth.
One pivotal moment of realization came while watching an episode of The Mentalist. The storyline featured a murder within a cult, and as they described the characteristics of cults, I was struck by how much I related to it. Cults often have a charismatic, narcissistic leader, a rigid ideology, and a black-and-white worldview. Everything within the cult is deemed good, while anything outside it is considered evil. Members are often required to sever ties with anyone outside the cult. Behavior is controlled through a combination of rewards and severe punishments, fostering constant fear of making mistakes.
One of the most damaging aspects of cults is how they manipulate people’s trust. Over time, members stop trusting their own instincts and judgments, instead placing blind trust in the cult leaders and their ideology. This mental conditioning creates a dissociative state where people can no longer see or question what’s happening. It’s how individuals are driven to do things they might otherwise find unimaginable.
After leaving the cult and working through the aftermath, I realized I could use what I had learned about manipulation and the mind to help others—this time for positive transformation. Instead of fostering fear and self-loathing, I help my clients build a foundation of self-love, confidence, and inner peace. This process involves creating a positive self-image, one based on love and acceptance rather than fear and self-doubt.
Many of my clients are high achievers who struggle with low self-worth. They’ve often spent their lives earning love and validation through hard work, never feeling appreciated for who they truly are. These patterns, rooted in their upbringing, lead to cycles of overwork, overwhelm, and dissatisfaction. Through our work together, we address these patterns and shift their focus inward.
True self-love isn’t just about external practices like massages or spa days—it’s an internal, transformative process. When you begin to validate and love yourself from within, it changes not only how you feel about yourself but also how the world responds to you. People begin to mirror your self-love back to you, creating a ripple effect in your external reality. Moreover, as your self-worth strengthens, you become less reliant on external validation and can love and give freely without needing anything in return. This shift creates a flow and joy in life that feels like living from a place of love rather than fear.
Interestingly, while my experiences growing up in a cult are extreme, many people can relate to certain aspects of it. For example, societal pressures, strict family rules, or punitive environments can mimic watered-down versions of cult dynamics. Many of my clients grew up in households where love and approval were conditional, based on their achievements or adherence to rigid expectations. Some even had to take on adult responsibilities early in life, acting as caregivers for their parents or siblings. These experiences create patterns of seeking validation through hard work and suppressing their own needs.
These high achievers have excelled professionally, but their success often comes at the cost of their emotional well-being. They crave the fulfillment that comes from being valued simply for who they are, not just for what they do. This is the core of our work together: breaking free from those patterns, building self-love from the inside out, and ultimately transforming their lives.
This process doesn’t just change their internal reality—it creates lasting, meaningful change in how they experience life. They move from a place of fear and scarcity to a place of love and abundance. And when you live from a place of deep self-love, you don’t just transform your own life; you contribute to a better, more loving world.

Your coaching focuses on helping high achievers overcome limiting thoughts to create a life they love. What are some common mental blocks you’ve observed in your clients, and how do you guide them in overcoming these obstacles?

One of the most common mental blocks my clients experience is their deep need for external validation. Many of them believe they love working hard simply because they are passionate, but beneath the surface, their constant drive to achieve is fueled by a longing for appreciation and worth. They’re often unaware of this at the beginning of our work together. Over time, they begin to see that their relentless pursuit of milestones—whether promotions, awards, or personal achievements—provides only fleeting satisfaction.
It’s like trying to fill an empty tank with a hole at the bottom. They achieve something, feel fulfilled for a brief moment, and then the feeling disappears, leaving them chasing the next goal. The real transformation happens when they learn to close the metaphorical hole, filling their inner tank sustainably. By cultivating self-worth from within, they no longer need to rely on external achievements to feel whole.
This pattern also shows up in their relationship with money. Many of my clients already earn a significant income but continue to strive for more, hoping to feel secure or escape feelings of scarcity. This, too, stems from the belief that they are “not enough” as they are. Like their need for validation, this scarcity mindset is a pattern we work on shifting, helping them find true security and abundance from within.
Another recurring theme is how they approach relationships. Many high achievers feel like they carry all the weight in their partnerships. They’re fast-paced, driven, and natural implementers, while their partners may seem slower or less proactive. This dynamic creates additional stress, as they feel they must constantly “drag” their partners along, compounding feelings of overwhelm.
What’s remarkable is that this dynamic doesn’t require directly addressing the partner; instead, the transformation happens internally. When my clients release the need to control everything, shift their inner perspectives, and allow themselves to feel supported, their reality—and their relationships—begin to shift. As they evolve into someone who can receive support, their partners naturally start showing up differently. Time and time again, I’ve seen partners go from being passive or uninvolved to becoming true equals, providing the support and partnership my clients have longed for.
This principle extends beyond relationships to all areas of life, including health, hobbies, and even time management. The inner shifts my clients make create profound and sustainable changes in their external realities.

You offer various programs, including self-paced courses, live group containers, and private coaching. Could you elaborate on the differences between these offerings and how each caters to the unique needs of your clients?

I offer several ways for clients to work with me, depending on their needs and where they are in their journey:
One-to-One Coaching Program
This is my most in-depth and transformative offering. It’s a four-month program requiring a five-figure investment, and many clients choose to continue beyond this period due to the profound impact it has on every aspect of their lives. In this program, I guide them through their personal and professional growth, including expanding their businesses. Some clients start their businesses with me as their high-performance and mindset coach, taking them from scratch to six, seven, or even eight figures. New challenges inevitably arise along their path, and I support them in navigating these with clarity and confidence.
Mastermind Group
For those who prefer a collaborative environment, my mastermind program offers group coaching in a supportive community. While it doesn’t include as much one-on-one time, it provides an incredible opportunity for connection and shared growth. This program is a more accessible investment than the one-to-one coaching program but still delivers profound results.
Mind Mastery Membership
My membership program is the perfect starting point for individuals new to this work. It’s a low-cost investment with incredible returns. Members gain access to weekly group coaching calls, valuable teachings, and a thriving community of like-minded individuals. In today’s world of AI and technology, fostering real human connection is more important than ever, and that’s exactly what we’ve created in the Mind Mastery Community.
Through all my programs, clients achieve deep internal transformations that lead to sustainable changes in their external realities. They stop chasing fleeting feelings of worth and validation, instead building fulfilling lives based on self-love, abundance, and genuine connection.

What role does intuition play in your coaching process, and how do you help your clients reconnect with their inner guidance to make aligned decisions in their personal and professional lives?

Intuition plays a pivotal role in my coaching process. Over the years, I’ve completed numerous coaching certifications, learned a variety of techniques, and gained extensive experience. With time, I’ve developed my own unique blend of methods that I use intuitively, tailored to each client. My approach isn’t a rigid, step-by-step framework; instead, it’s a fluid, holistic process.
When I work with a client, I take into account not only what they say they want or need but also their body language, voice, expressions, and the energy they bring into the session. I also pay close attention to what arises within me intuitively when I’m with them—what I feel they need at a deeper level. All of this becomes data that I process through my holistic approach, which integrates my intuition, experience, and understanding.
I never enter a session assuming I know it all. Instead, I form hypotheses based on my observations and intuition and present these ideas to the client. Their reactions help guide the process. Often, these hypotheses resonate deeply, and the client feels seen and understood. Other times, they don’t resonate, and that’s equally valuable. A “no” is just as important as a “yes” because it provides clarity. It tells us what isn’t true or relevant, allowing us to refine our direction and move closer to the heart of the issue.
I’m not attached to being “right.” For me, it’s not about validation but about discovery. This openness sets me apart from many other coaches who might seek their worth from being correct. My work is a mix of coaching, consulting, and even therapeutic techniques. While I offer advice and insights, I always remain flexible, continuously adjusting based on the client’s feedback and our evolving understanding.
My experience from working with clients for over a decade also plays a significant role. I often draw upon patterns and lessons from previous cases. For example, if a client presents a similar challenge to one I’ve encountered before, I can use that knowledge to ask deeper questions and explore possible solutions. That said, every client is unique, and intuition ensures I approach each situation with fresh eyes and sensitivity to their specific needs.
I also emphasize the importance of intuition in my clients’ lives. Many of them already have highly developed analytical and logical skills but haven’t fully tapped into their intuitive abilities. I teach them how to connect with and trust their intuition because it’s like accessing a broader field of awareness. When they learn to integrate their intuitive and analytical minds, they gain a much fuller, richer perspective, enabling them to make more aligned and confident decisions.
Ultimately, intuition is the foundation of my coaching process. It allows me to see beyond the surface, draw on deeper insights, and guide my clients toward meaningful transformation. It’s not just a tool I use—it’s something I teach, helping clients access their inner wisdom and unlock their full potential.

You pose thought-provoking questions about self-worth and the pursuit of success without overworking. How do you help individuals shift their mindset to feel adequate and worthy, thereby achieving a balance between professional success and personal fulfillment?

The Relationship Between Self-Worth and Business Success
My clients are often high achievers—successful in their careers, but increasingly aware of the costs of their relentless drive. They come to me not just to grow their business success, but to do so in a way that feels sustainable and fulfilling. They want to work less, enjoy life more, and achieve success with greater effortlessness, especially as they recognize the toll overworking has taken on their health, relationships, and overall happiness.
The Inner Work Before Scaling Business
One of the first shifts we make is turning inward. While we may touch on business strategies early on, we quickly dive into their self-image, self-worth, and the unconscious beliefs driving their actions. High achievers often derive their sense of worth from their accomplishments, feeling they must continuously prove themselves through hard work. This creates a cycle of overworking and burnout, perpetuated by an underlying fear of inadequacy or failure.
Through our work together, clients begin to recognize these patterns and uncover the root causes of their behaviors. They start to shift their self-perception, moving from seeking external validation to cultivating deep, internal self-worth. This transformation creates a powerful foundation for sustainable growth because they no longer rely on external success to feel good about themselves.
Business Success as a Reflection of Inner State
One key principle I teach is that we create results that mirror our inner state. If you’re operating from a place of lack, scarcity, or low self-worth, those feelings will manifest in your outcomes—even when you achieve external success. It’s like the lottery winner phenomenon: without an internal shift, even massive external gains can slip away or amplify feelings of inadequacy.
Instead, I guide clients to address their inner state first. When they approach business from a place of fullness, confidence, and inner peace, their actions become more aligned, strategic, and effective. They scale not only their businesses but also their happiness and fulfillment, creating results that reflect their newfound abundance and self-worth.
The Ripple Effect of Inner Transformation
By working on their inner game first, my clients experience a profound ripple effect. Their personal lives improve, their relationships deepen, and their businesses flourish in ways that feel effortless and joyful. This approach not only prevents scaling problems but ensures that the success they achieve is meaningful and sustainable.

If you would like to find out more about Lydia Wilmsen, please visit https://lydiawilmsen.com/

We rank vendors based on rigorous testing and research, but also take into account your feedback and our commercial agreements with providers. This page contains affiliate links. Advertising Disclosure
MysticMag contains reviews that were written by our experts and follow the strict reviewing standards, including ethical standards, that we have adopted. Such standards require that each review will take into consideration independent, honest and professional examination of the reviewer. That being said, we may earn a commission when a user completes an action using our links, at no additional cost to them. On listicle pages, we rank vendors based on a system that prioritizes the reviewer’s examination of each service but also considers feedback received from our readers and our commercial agreements with providers.This site may not review all available service providers, and information is believed to be accurate as of the date of each article.
About the author
Sarah Kirton
Content Editor
Content Editor
Sarah Kirton is a Content Editor at MysticMag. She focuses on exploring diverse holistic therapies, energy healing, and esoteric arts. Her role involves delving into these subjects to bring out meaningful insights from each individual she interviews. With a long-standing spiritual connection, Sarah has dabbled in Reiki (Reiki 1) and tarot, drawn by the fascinating power of energy and its healing potential. As a freelance writer for the past five years, she has honed her ability to craft compelling narratives around these topics. Sarah is also a mother to a 6-year-old, whom she considers her greatest teacher. Outside of her spiritual work, she enjoys water sports, appreciating the energy and power of nature, which aligns with her love for the healing and transformative aspects of the natural world.