Finding a romantic partner is a life goal for many of us. But often, just when you think you’ve found the one, things turn sour. Either you realize your personalities don’t quite match up as you thought, or you just don’t seem to “get” one another.
How can you truly know if you and your partner are meant to be? From zodiacs, ruling planets, and tarot readers, to understanding love languages and attachment styles, there are various ways you can assess the compatibility of your relationship. And you’ll find them all here.
Predicting Your Relationship Compatibility
Astrology and relationship compatibility go hand in hand. Star signs, moon signs, and rising signs all influence the person you are — your personality, behaviors, emotional traits, and characteristics.
Using Planet Signs to Predict Compatibility
Astrology goes beyond just your zodiac (or sun) sign. Several other signs also influence your relationships, including your moon, rising, and Venus signs.
- Sun sign: This is the sign most commonly known as your zodiac or star sign, reflecting the sign through which the sun was moving when you were born. There are 12 zodiac signs altogether.
- Moon sign: Your moon sign influences your emotions and how you connect with others, which is especially important in relationships. This is the sign that the moon was moving through when you were born.
- Rising sign: The rising sign is often referred to as your ascendant. This means the sign that was ascending on the eastern horizon when you were born. Your rising sign is said to reflect the first impressions people have of you, or that you have of others.
- Venus sign: Venus is the planet of love. Your Venus sign reflects the placement of Venus at the time you were born. It helps you understand your physical connections with others, and how you desire and experience pleasure.
Although it might seem a little overwhelming at first, knowing each of your planet signs (and your partner’s!) can help you predict compatibility and work out how and what you will contribute to your relationship.
Use this calculator to quickly see how compatible you and your partner are based on your sun signs.
To work out your moon, rising, and venus signs, you’ll need to know the exact time, date, and location of your birth — and your partner’s, if you want to figure out theirs, too. There are plenty of free online calculators that you can use.
Are You and Your Potential Partner Fire, Water, Air, or Earth?
Each of the zodiac signs falls within one of the four element groups — fire, water, air, or earth. While each zodiac sign has individual traits, they also share common characteristics with the other signs in their element group.
If you and your potential partner have the same element, you’ll probably get on well. Generally, astrology suggests that fire and air signs are more compatible, while water and earth signs work in harmony, too.
Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Fire signs are creative, spontaneous, and adventurous. They’re incredibly passionate in relationships. However, they can also be impulsive and irritable.
Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Earth signs are grounded people who value stability and loyalty. They tend to be excellent caregivers, generous, and nurturing, though they also worry a lot and can be withdrawn when their mind takes over.
Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Air signs are free spirits who are extremely sociable, loving, and spontaneous. They’re also highly intelligent and analytical, approaching certain situations pragmatically. This can sometimes lead to them giving off a cold and emotionless demeanor if you don’t know them better.
Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
Water signs are highly emotional individuals who can be incredibly sensitive, leading them to take things to heart often. Highly observant, loyal, and caring, water signs long for security in relationships.
The Zodiacs in Love
Understanding how each sign acts in love can give you a good idea of how compatible you and your potential match will be. If your zodiac sign is typically more grounded, quiet, and introverted, then you might be best matched to a sign that shows love through small acts of affection and appreciates cozy nights in, rather than someone who enjoys lots of PDA and spontaneous dinner dates. Though they do say opposites attract.
For a quick analysis of your zodiac compatibility, use this calculator.
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Aries partners can be quick to fall in love with plenty of PDA. They can be demanding and insecure, but they’re bold, courageous, and very open about their feelings. You always know exactly where you stand with an Aries.
Taurus (April 20-May 21)
Once you get them to commit, Taureans are loyal and loving in relationships – but you’ll need to be patient in love. While they can be stubborn and somewhat argumentative, they’re all for their partners, and love being an active part of your life.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Geminis are probably best known for having a personality of two extremes. But Geminis are also sociable, intelligent, and loving individuals that appreciate relationships in which they can be their spontaneous, adventurous selves. They need to be on-the-go and busy all the time, which can sometimes make them appear a little emotionally unavailable.
Cancer (June 21-July 23)
Cancers are emotional lovers who fall in love very quickly. They’re soft-centered and vulnerable, but often portray a hard exterior, making them tough to crack. Cancers love to take care of their loved ones, but this can feel overwhelming for some, so it’s important to create boundaries.
Leo (July 23-August 23)
As fire signs, Leos are creative, playful, and passionate in relationships. They shower you with love and affection, which might be too intense for some. While loyal, loving, and sociable, some Leos get their energy from being the center of attention, which may cause some friction with certain partners.
Virgo (August 23-September 23)
Virgos are smart, kind, and generous partners who love to show their partners just how much they value them. They’re stable and patient, enjoying a routine and organized life, which might not match with more free-spirited signs. They’re generous givers, but can be moody.
Libra (September 23-October 23)
The Libra is charming, loving, and very adventurous. They thrive in relationships, so you’ll find them diving straight into committed affairs. They’re thoughtful and like to show their partners that they’re always thinking of them, but they can be too outgoing for some.
Scorpio (October 23-November 22)
Scorpios are emotionally intense and value deep, loving relationships with lots of seduction. They like to be in charge of the relationship, planning lots of activities and dates for you both.
Sagittarius (November 23-December 22)
Sagittarians are bold, blunt, and enthusiastic in love, showering their partners with plenty of affection. They value relationships that offer exploration and adventure, and don’t like to be stuck in a routine. Space and independence are essential to Sagittarians.
Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
Capricorns are stable, pragmatic, and committed partners that like to give their lovers everything. They’re enthusiasts in love, expressing affection through actions rather than words, so be prepared for PDA. However, Capricorns can also be very career-driven, which may require some compromises and send mixed signals.
Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
An Aquarius partner values space and time to do their own thing, but that doesn’t mean they’re not committed. These signs are very energetic and giving, always bringing fun into your relationship.
Pisces (February 19-March 21)
Pisces are perhaps the most romantic of all the signs, but they can have a hard time being vulnerable and opening up. They can be distant if you upset them, and often appear distracted, so they need a partner that can take charge. But they’re very attentive and loving once comfortable.
The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
In astrology, some zodiac signs are more compatible than others. Using our quick calculator can help you determine which signs you match with best.
Most signs have the highest compatibility with individuals that are 2 star signs apart in the natal chart. You’ll have enough similarities and differences to balance one another out, while also complementing each other perfectly.
For example, a Taurus may appreciate the emotional Cancer, who can help them bring out their softer side. Both signs value loyalty and deep connections, while the Taurean can offer stability to sensitive and (sometimes) needy Cancerians.
That’s not to say you can’t have an easy, happy relationship with other signs — remember, astrology is only part of the picture. It may just be that you need to overcome more conflict to truly understand one another.
The Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
If your potential love match is 3 star signs apart from yours, astrology suggests this could be a problem.
Usually, someone that is 3 star signs away from you is very similar to you in terms of personality and traits. While it might seem like being with someone similar to you is ideal, it can actually be a recipe for disaster. You and your partner will likely clash and find it hard to communicate effectively. To read more in depth about your zodiac compatibility and which signs you may want to avoid romantic relationships with, use this calculator.
What Your Rising Sign Says About You in Relationships
Your rising sign (or ascendant) is usually different from your star sign. The rising sign tells you a lot about the first impressions people have of you — this is known as your “outer world.”
In relationships, the rising sign is especially important. It’s all about how you approach people and situations, and, thus, the people you attract into your life. You’ll be drawn to aspects of an individual’s personality and the energy they give off, especially in the initial stages, which is greatly influenced by their rising sign.
What Your Venus Sign Says About You in Love
Venus is all about love. Knowing your Venus sign can tell you how you love others and what you value in a relationship. It allows you to explore how you flirt, interact, and experience pleasure with potential partners.
Likewise, knowing your partner’s Venus sign can help you understand whether you can offer them what they need and vice versa. If you show love through physical affection, you’ll probably appreciate someone with a Venus sign that does the same.
The Moon Signs & Compatibility
Another sign you can look at to predict compatibility is your moon sign — and your partner’s too.
Your moon sign influences your emotions and how you connect with others. It gives you a good indicator of the emotional connection between you and your love match, how you show affection, and how you want to receive love from others.
The moon sign is more about your inner world. Even if your rising sign is a confident, passionate Aries, your moon sign and emotional nature could be a sensitive, cautious Cancer.
According to astrology, you’re likely to be compatible with someone who shares the same moon sign or a moon sign with similar personality traits.
Does Your Zodiac Sign Fall in Your Partner’s House?
In astrology, houses are just as crucial as signs. In total, there are 12 houses, each representing different parts of your life, from finances and health, to your relationships.
When you’re born, your zodiac sign will have been in one of the 12 houses. You can find out which house you were born in using your birth chart (i.e., a Taurus born in the 5th house).
The 7th house is all about relationships and your interaction with others. This covers all relationships, including your friendships, marriage, and even relationships with your work colleagues.
Finding out which zodiac sign you have in your 7th house can give you a good indicator of who you’re compatible with, and the types of people you’re attracting into your life. For example, if you find that you’ve had romantic relationships with Gemini after Gemini, you probably have this zodiac sign in your 7th house.
Your Life Path Number Can Predict Compatibility
You can learn even more about yourself and your partner through numerology.
While astrology uses the positioning of planets and signs to give you clues into your personality and self, numerology relies on your date of birth and name to uncover more about who you are as a person.
Although they are very different, you can usually use a combination of astrology and numerology to better predict compatibility.
Everyone has a numerology chart made up of 7 numbers. Comparing yours and your partner’s numerology chart side by side allows you to predict compatibility and learn more about who you both are on a deeper level.
Your Life Path Meaning
In total, there are 9 different life paths. With your unique number, you can look deeper into your values and challenges in life, as well as your partner’s.
Here are the common traits people on each life path share:
Life Path 1: Value individuality, independence, and autonomy. They may often feel different from others, and find embracing their individuality difficult. In particular, 1s must overcome the challenge of self-confidence.
Life Path 2: Value partnerships, balance, and love. However, they often don’t love or believe in themselves enough. Their biggest challenge is uncovering their emotional sensitivity and connecting with others.
Life Path 3: Value creativity, self-expression, and fun. Their biggest challenge is to avoid over-dramatizing situations and exaggerating negativity.
Life Path 4: Value structure, discipline, and health. Yet they must learn to balance their ambitions with the need to develop emotionally secure and loving relationships.
Life Path 5: Value adventure, movement, and change. Being so on-the-go, 5s must find ways of enjoying life and daily routine without the need for constant change.
Life Path 6: Value responsibility, family, and long-term goals. As a natural nurturer, 6s must be careful not to overstep boundaries. They need to strike the right balance between giving and control.
Life Path 7: Value spirituality, imagination, and introspection. Their biggest challenge is balancing their intuition with rational thought to connect with others.
Life Path 8: Value authority, materialistic items, and success. In search of success, 8s often exert too much control. Their biggest challenge is letting others take the reins.
Life Path 9: Value understanding, compassion, and acceptance. Wanting to understand every detail, 9s must learn to let go of the past and things out of their control.
Numerology: Compatible or Not?
There are groups of numbers that are highly compatible with each other, while others are not destined to have harmonious relationships.
Numerology helps you understand whether you’re compatible with a person (or not) before investing too much time.
Some numbers are considered fairly neutral when paired, so your relationship could go either way. This is why it’s important to compare all aspects of numerology and astrology together so that you can build a complete picture of your relationship.
Your Relationship Style
Emotions are one of the biggest factors affecting compatibility in any relationship, which is why it’s essential to get in tune with yours — and your partner’s.
What’s Your Attachment Style?
If you’re wondering why you always seem to attract the same kind of person, or your relationships seem to always follow the same type of synergy, it’s likely to do with your attachment style.
Attachment styles are developed in childhood, based mostly on our relationships with our parents, and can also define our romantic relationships. We develop certain behaviors based on relationships with our caregivers, which affect how we act in relationships with romantic partners.
There are 4 different attachment styles, and most people fall into each of these categories:
- Secure attachment
- Anxious preoccupied attachment
- Avoidant dismissive attachment
- Disorganized attachment
Understanding your partner’s attachment style can help recognize certain behaviors and how they affect the dynamic between you. You may find it difficult to work through conflict if you have completely opposite attachment styles; for example, if one of you is avoidant while the other is anxious.
Those with a secure attachment style typically had a childhood where they felt loved and listened to, with the ability to express how they felt openly and honestly. Their needs were met consistently, leading to a strong bond and level of trust between themselves and their parents.
If you have a secure attachment style, your romantic relationships may include:
- Appreciating your self-worth and independence
- Being able to express your feelings openly and honestly
- Feeling independent and secure
- Being emotionally stable and able to resolve conflicts
- Mutual support between you and your partner
Anxious Preoccupied Attachment
People with the anxious preoccupied attachment style likely grew up with a parent who was inconsistent in their parenting style. This means that the parent was sometimes engaged and responsive to their needs, while other times, they weren’t. Over time, this leads to children becoming anxious about their parents’ behavior with them.
If you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style, your romantic relationships may include:
- Craving feelings of closeness and intimacy
- Struggling to trust your partner
- Finding it difficult to observe and create boundaries
- Becoming obsessive over your partner and always putting their needs first
- Having a lower sense of self-worth and confidence
- Needing lots of reassurance and attention from your partner
Avoidant Dismissive Attachment
Avoidant dismissives are the complete opposite of those with anxious attachment. Their childhood likely featured an absent parent or a primary caregiver who made them feel rejected and unloved. As a result, they developed barriers to protect themselves and avoid building close relationships with others.
If you have an avoidant dismissive attachment style, you may see yourself in these characteristics:
- Highly independent and don’t like to rely on others
- Emotionally guarded and reluctant to express any emotions
- Tends to withdraw when people try to build close connections
- Prefers casual flings to long-term, committed relationships
- May disregard their partner’s feelings and keep secrets
Disorganized attachment arises from a traumatic childhood, where children have possibly suffered abuse and neglect and have therefore developed fear in relationships. It can also develop from their parents suffering trauma, leading to inconsistent responses to their child’s needs.
If you have a disorganized attachment style, may see yourself in these characteristics:
- Finding intimate relationships confusing
- Being fearful of developing close relationships
- Feeling erratic emotionally and inconsistent in feelings for their partner
- Feeling unworthy of love and happy relationships
- Frequently displaying antisocial behavior and aggression
Identifying Your Love Language
Relationships often fail because partners have different love languages and don’t understand what the other wants.
What makes you feel loved might not be the same for your partner, and vice versa. While you might appreciate a thoughtful gift now and then, your other half may prefer you to help them with the dishes.
Understanding the different love languages can help you evaluate how compatible you are and iron out any miscommunication.
Here are the 5 love languages:
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
Love Language: Physical Touch
A person with a physical touch love language feels love through physical affection.
If you feel loved when your partner holds your hand, kisses you, hugs you, or engages in physical intimacy, your love language may be physical touch.
If your partner’s love language is physical touch, you can show them love by arranging a cozy date night with a movie and cuddles on the sofa.
Love Language: Acts of Service
Your love language may be acts of service if you feel loved and appreciated when your partner helps you or does something for you.
This might include household chores, such as mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, making a drink, or filling your car up with gas. People with this love language appreciate the little things their partner does for them.
If your partner’s love language is acts of service, you can show them love by helping them with running errands and ticking off their daily to-do list.
Love Language: Receiving Gifts
The receiving gifts love language means giving and receiving thoughtful items that show you or your partner how much you value one another. These don’t necessarily have to be expensive gifts, but can be small, token gifts that mean something to each of you. It’s more about the thought behind the present, than the present itself.
If you feel loved when your partner surprises you with your favorite chocolate bar, brings you a treat home after being out all day, or buys you a bunch of flowers, your love language is likely receiving gifts.
To show your partner how much you love them (if gifts are their love language), pick up something small they would appreciate next time you go shopping.
Love Language: Words of Affirmation
People with words of affirmation as their love language feel love through words rather than actions. This means expressing love through praise, empathy, encouragement, and appreciation.
You’ll probably feel most connected to your partner when they tell you how much they love you or how attractive you are. You’ll like it when they reach out to speak to you first.
If words of affirmation are your partner’s love language, you could show them love by writing them a letter telling them how thankful you are for them and how you feel about them.
Love Language: Quality Time
The quality time love language means feeling love through having your partner’s undivided attention, or by them making time for you in their day.
This can include acts such as regular date nights, meeting up for a coffee and a chat, taking a walk together, or spending the morning in bed together.
If your partner’s love language is quality time, they’ll appreciate you leaving space for them in your day to spend together, so try not to be too busy. Even a 30 minute dinner date or phone call will make sure they feel loved.
Soulmates, Twin Flames, and Karmics: Have You Found Yours?
You might have heard of soulmates, but there are 2 other key love matches to be aware of — karmics and twin flames. Each of these relationships triggers different emotions inside of us.
Could They Be Your Soulmate?
Soulmates are different from twin flames. While your twin flame is an exact mirror of you, soulmates feel more like the other half of you. You feel complete with your soul mate, as if they were the missing jigsaw piece to your puzzle.
Your true spiritual soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself. If you’re in a relationship with your soulmate, it can feel rocky at first, even as if you’re not compatible. But after a little push and pull, you’ll find that the relationship clicks perfectly.
You may not even be physically attracted to them at first, yet you still feel a strong desire to be together. If you’ve met your soulmate, you’re definitely compatible.
Signs You’ve Met Your Soulmate
If you’re wondering whether your partner might be your soulmate, some tell-tale signs will let you know.
- You feel at peace around them.
Soulmates have a way of making you feel completely comfortable and at peace when you’re around them. You feel as though you can be your true self, without fear of judgment.
- You balance each other out.
Although they’re not the same person as you (like your twin flame), you and your soulmate balance each other out perfectly. The ways you’re opposites complement each other, rather than creating conflict.
- You feel an intense connection.
Even though you might not be physically attracted to your soulmate at first, you feel an immense pull to be together. You’ll feel attracted to their energy and demeanor, rather than looks.
- Your values align.
You and your soulmate will share the same values and morals, both wanting the same from life — including family, career, and life goals.
- Your relationship has rough patches.
Most relationships have ups and downs, whether you’re with your soulmate or not. But when you get into a committed relationship with your soulmate, you may experience more conflict than you were expecting at first. Soulmates often reveal the parts of ourselves that need to be healed so we can work through these together.
- You’re inspired to grow.
Soulmates inspire us to become better versions of ourselves. Usually, the traits in soulmates that are opposite to us are what we value, or the traits we want to see in ourselves. Soulmates help us grow, and shape us into the people we’d like to be.
Have You Met Your Twin Flame?
People don’t come into our lives by chance. Everyone that enters your life does so for a reason, usually to help you heal or grow. That includes twin flames.
A twin flame is your soul mirror. Essentially, they are you. They’re someone who matches your energy perfectly, in every way — your true romantic match.
Most people are in search of their perfect match, but not everyone finds it. The majority settle for what they think is an ideal relationship, without really thinking about how compatible they are.
But there’s someone perfect out there for everyone, including you. Your twin flame is your most compatible romantic partner, and you’ll know once you’ve found them.
Signs You’ve Met Your Twin Flame
When you meet your twin flame, it’ll feel like you’ve met yourself. It’s a connection like no other, and it may seem unbelievable just how alike you are.
Can you be sure your love match is your twin flame? Here are 8 signs you’ve met your twin flame.
- There’s an instant attraction.
When you and your twin flame meet eye-to-eye, there’s immediate attraction. It may feel like you’ve known each other forever, even if they’ve only just come into your life.
- You have an intense emotional connection.
Twin flames are in sync with each other at all times, because their minds work in the same ways. This means that you usually develop intense feelings for each other very quickly, because there’s a high level of security and trust between you.
- Insecurities come out to play.
Since your twin flame is your mirror, they not only show you the good parts of yourself, but the bad too. Insecurities come to the surface to be worked through and healed, though they can lead to unresolved conflict if not dealt with.
- You’re inspired to become a better you.
Your relationship with your twin flame shows you all the parts of yourself you don’t like so much, so you can push through them and become a better version of yourself.
- You find your way back to one another.
Even if you and your twin flame take a break, you always find your way back to each other. Two souls that are meant to be together will always find a way.
- They fit into your life easily.
Being in a relationship with your twin flame feels perfect. It’s easy for them to fit into your life, routine, family, and friends… and vice versa.
- Your energy matches.
Your twin flame matches your energy perfectly — emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically. You’ll feel completely fulfilled in your relationship.
- The connection feels telepathic.
Communicating with your twin flame is easy because you’re connected telepathically. Sometimes, you don’t even need to say anything to know what the other is feeling.
Or Is It a Karmic Relationship?
Karmic relationships disguise themselves as a soulmate or twin flame connection. But they’re meant to teach us a lesson.
It might seem like you couldn’t be more compatible with each other, but the relationship isn’t designed to last. Karmic partners help you recognize the parts of yourself that you need to heal, to help you grow as a person — so you can actually find your twin flame or soulmate.
There’s usually an intense instant attraction between you and a karmic, and it’s as if everything is perfect at first. After a while, cracks start to show, and you soon realize that this person isn’t your true romantic match.
Signs You’re Heading for a Karmic Relationship
A karmic isn’t your life partner. Although everything can feel perfect at first, the relationship soon turns turbulent as you trigger each other and show each other the parts of yourself that need to heal.
While these relationships can still teach you a lot about yourself, knowing how to recognize them can help you figure out if you’re truly compatible or just here to teach each other a lesson.
Here are some signs that you’re heading for a karmic relationship.
- It feels like it’s meant to be
At the start of a karmic relationship, everything is perfect. In fact, it’s almost too perfect. It often feels like it’s meant to be, and as if it’s too good to be true.
- They come first
In karmic relationships, you’ll find that your partner puts themselves above you, always. Your partner tends to be selfish, usually disregarding your feelings.
- Repeating negative patterns
Your partner’s negative patterns repeat themselves time and time again, especially when it comes to disagreements. This is the universe trying to tell yourself to break the karmic bond.
- They’re controlling
Karmic relationships can feel like teacher-student relationships, with partners usually becoming controlling. They can also be emotionally manipulative and jealous of you.
- Intense attraction
In karmic relationships, you fall hard and fast — think of it as love at first sight. This is typical of the initial chemical reaction in karmic relationships, until your partner’s flaws come to light.
- There’s codependency
Karmic relationships usually involve some form of codependency, and you can start to lose your sense of self. You naturally over-give to karmic partners, forgetting about yourself and your own needs.
10 Signs You’re Compatible
You’re Sure of Your Feelings
When you’re compatible in a relationship, you’re both sure of your feelings for each other. There’s no questioning the love between you both. Even if you like to hear the words “I love you” now and again, you know they love you without them having to say it.
You Can Be Yourself
A good relationship is one where you can be your true, authentic self. If you’re compatible, you’re both comfortable around one another and don’t feel you need to hide any part of yourselves.
Whether you’re happy, sad, or angry, you can comfortably express your emotions without worrying about what your partner might say or think.
You Like Their Personality
You can love someone but not actually like them. To be compatible, you need to like your partner’s personality, characteristics, traits, and quirks.
The best relationships are ones where both partners are friends and romantic lovers. You need to get along well and complement one another to enjoy a lasting relationship.
You Have Your Own Lives Too
Although you share almost everything in a relationship, you must lead your own lives too. Compatible partners encourage each other to be independent and spend time apart on their own or with friends, doing things they enjoy.
You Share the Same Interests and Goals
You and your partner should be on the same page, or the relationship won’t work. Not only do you need to share common interests to enjoy the same things together, but you also need to align morally.
Your relationship should be built around similar life goals. Otherwise, you’ll be following very different life paths. While it’s important to have independence, you also need to be a couple.
You Accept Each Other’s Flaws
As much as you can appreciate each other’s strong points, it’s essential that you also accept their flaws. No one is perfect, and both you and your partner should understand that.
Relationships are all about compromise, which means accepting each other’s weaknesses and downfalls. In a compatible relationship, you’ll find their quirks and flaws endearing rather than annoying.
You Overcome Conflict Easily
Relationships mean taking the good with the bad and overcoming conflicts that arise. Even if you and your partner are completely perfect for each other, you’ll still have disagreements — but it’s how you deal with them that matters.
Compatible couples can work through issues quickly and easily, communicating their feelings and boundaries. Understanding your attachment styles and love languages can also help overcome conflict while getting to know each other better.
You’re Physically Attracted to Each Other
It may seem obvious, but in any relationship, you need to be physically attracted to each other. Sexual energy is a huge part of any relationship, and physical intimacy is how you show someone you’re committed to them. So there must be a sexual connection as well as an emotional one.
Many people will stay in a relationship because they feel such a strong emotional bond with their partner, even if there is little to no physical attraction or intimacy. However, this isn’t sustainable. Once a couple drifts apart in the bedroom, they usually wind up drifting apart emotionally, too.
If you feel the sexual spark is diminishing, communicate with your partner, take time to be physically intimate with one another, and figure out your likes and dislikes. But, ultimately, you may be better off as friends.
You Fit Into Each Other’s Lives Easily
Your partner should compliment your life, and vice versa. They should fit easily into your routine, and get on well with your friends and family.
This is a deal-breaker in any relationship. Not everyone likes everyone, and that’s OK — but you and your partner should both make an effort to build relationships with key people in your lives.
You See a Future Together
If you want to know if you and your partner are compatible, ask yourself if you can see a future with them – or if this is just a short term fling. Once the initial passion and lust have passed, what should remain is a friendship.
If you can’t imagine spending the rest of your lives together, through the boring and the stressful, you’re probably better suited to someone else.
As much as you might love and care for someone, if you don’t actually like each other, share similar interests, complement each other’s personalities, or you’re not physically attracted to one another, it’s probably time to walk away.
Testing Your Compatibility
The best way to assess your compatibility is to put it to the test. Opening up honest conversations about your past, expectations for the future, and likes and dislikes is an easy way of determining how well you both match. But there are other ways to test your compatibility, too.
Compatibility Questions: The Past
Besides astrology and figuring out your behaviors in relationships, a good way of testing compatibility is to ask your potential partner various questions about their past.
Not everyone wants to know about their partner’s history, but certain questions can help gauge your compatibility and understand what they’re like in relationships. These questions can relate to their childhood and experiences, not just romantic relationships.
Here are some questions to get you started:
- What is one experience that impacted you most in your life?
- How was your relationship with your parents?
- How are your relationships with your exes?
- What are you most grateful for in your life?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
- What is your favorite childhood memory?
- If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?
Compatibility Questions: Relationship Styles
Being open and honest about your perfect relationship is a sure way to find out if you’re compatible. If you aren’t sure what your partner’s love language or attachment styles are, the best thing to do is ask.
- What’s your love language?
- Do you know your attachment style?
- What do you value most in a relationship?
- Do you believe in soulmates or twin flames?
- How long does it take for you to trust someone?
- What is your idea of a perfect date?
- What makes you happiest in a relationship?
- What are habits or traits you dislike in a relationship?
Compatibility Questions: Likes, Dislikes, and Personality
A good relationship involves being friends as well as lovers. Although you won’t always share the exact same interests, your personalities should work in harmony, and you should have similar likes and dislikes.
Choose some of these questions to ask your partner:
- What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
- What is your favorite type of food?
- Which genre of music do you like best?
- What is your favorite movie?
- Do you like the city or enjoy a peaceful country life?
- Do you like to explore the outdoors?
- Which fictional character do you believe is most like yourself?
- Are you religious?
- What role does politics play in your life?
- Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- Do you prefer to go out or stay in?
- Do you like pets?
- Do you prefer to save money or live in the moment?
Compatibility Questions: The Future
If you’re looking for a long-term, committed relationship, you also need to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about your future. If you don’t share common goals, it probably won’t last.
Ask these questions to assess your compatibility:
- Do you believe in marriage?
- Do you want kids in the future?
- What are your 5-year life goals?
- Would you consider relocating to another country or state?
- What are 5 things on your bucket list?
- Where would you like to live in the future?
- What are your career goals?
Compatibility Questions: Hypothetical Situations
Another good way of testing your compatibility is presenting hypothetical situations to see how your partner would respond in different scenarios, including incredibly difficult situations like infidelity and cheating.
Ask a few of these questions to determine how compatible your personalities are. But make sure you do so sensitively so your partner feels comfortable.
- What would you do if you were in a relationship with someone who didn’t have the same spiritual or religious beliefs as you?
- What would you do if your romantic partner didn’t get along well with your friends or family?
- Would you put your family or friends first if you had to choose one?
- If a psychic could tell you what would happen in the future, would you want to know?
- If money and career were no object, what would you be doing with your life?
- If your partner ever cheated or broke your heart, could you forgive them?
- Would you be able to support your partner in following their dreams, even if they didn’t match yours?
Testing Current Compatibility with Tarot
You may not always be sure if you and your partner are compatible, even after looking at all there is to know about astrology, love languages, and everything else in between. Perhaps you want some more advice on what to expect from your relationship, whether there’s a future for you two. Tarot readings can help.
Tarot readers can go deeper into your romantic life and give you answers to the questions on your mind.
To assess your current compatibility, find a comfortable, quiet space, shuffle your favourite tarot deck, line up the cards in the 6 card spread outlined below, and ask these 6 essential questions before turning each card over:
- Where is our current relationship at right now?
- What am I bringing to the relationship?
- What is my partner giving to our relationship?
- What is our compatibility as romantic partners?
- What lessons am I learning through this relationship?
- What should I be paying closer attention to in our relationship?
Using Tarot to Find a Compatible Partner
If you don’t currently have a romantic partner, you can also use tarot to find out what type of person matches you best. Tarot can help you understand what might be holding you back and what action you should be taking to find your perfect match.
Pull 6 cards and ask the tarot reader these questions:
- Where am I in search of right now?
- What challenges are currently influencing my love life?
- Which parts of me need healing so I can find love?
- What do I need to let go of?
- What action should I be taking right now to find my partner?
- What is the best way to approach finding the perfect relationship for me?
Using Tarot to Test Future Compatibility
Not sure where you and your partner are headed? Tarot readers often use a 5-card spread to help you determine what’s in store for you and your partner in the future.
Pull 5 cards and ask the tarot reader these questions:
- What energy is surrounding our relationship right now?
- Which areas of our relationship need more attention?
- Which areas of our relationship should we focus on for growth together?
- How will our relationship develop?
- What does the future hold for our relationship?
Palm Readings: The Compatibility Test
Did you know that the palms of your hands can reveal a lot about your love life?
Palm readings involve examining the lines and features of your hands to give you insight into what’s happening in your love life. Specifically, everyone has a heart line at the top of their palms, which represents their emotional self. Palm readers look at the depth of this line, as well as whether it’s straight, curved, or extended between your fingers.
If your heart line is deep, this can indicate that you’re a stable and grounded person. A shallow line is more indicative of a sensitive personality. Of course, these aren’t mutually exclusive, and your personality traits will most likely overlap in some ways.
Straight heart line
A straight heart line likely means you’re more reserved and guarded in relationships. It typically takes you a long time to trust others and open up to your partner.
Curved heart line
A curved heart line means that you tend to put yourself first in relationships, yet you’re still quite open with your partner. In general, you achieve a good level of balance in your romantic relationships.
Extended heart line
An extended heart line means that you’re very nurturing and like to take care of your partner. Sometimes you can be too giving, which means partners may take advantage of your kind nature.
Relationship Red Flags
You’ve probably heard the term “red flag” thrown around a lot, especially when it comes to relationships.
Most of the time, though, these are merely yellow or orange flags that might indicate you’re not compatible (such as annoying personality traits). Serious red flags can be dangerous and open you up to emotional or physical abuse in a relationship, which is why it’s important to spot them early.
Here are some of the most common red flags to be aware of.
If you notice that your partner has any bad habits that they can’t seem to quit and negatively impact their life, it could indicate they have issues with addiction. People can be addicted to substances (alcohol, drugs, painkillers) or certain behaviors (porn, gambling, eating) and each one can affect a person very differently.
If you notice a potential partner or someone you’re dating is displaying addictive behaviors, it’s important to ensure your wellbeing. You can try to help them, but often, the best thing to do is leave before their addiction impacts your health or safety.
- A Short Temper and Aggression
People typically display short tempers and aggression when they haven’t found an appropriate way of dealing with their emotions, which leads to angry outbursts. Sometimes, this can escalate to violence later on. Anyone that gets angry or aggressive towards you, other people, or even animals, should be avoided.
It’s normal for most partners to feel a little jealous from time to time, but when it’s getting in the way of your relationship and stopping you from doing things you enjoy, it’s a huge red flag. Good relationships are built on a foundation of trust and respect for one another.
Toxic jealousy can manifest in different ways early in a relationship, such as constant questions about who you’re spending time with, lack of trust, and hostility towards friends and exes.
- A Controlling Nature
Controlling partners likely have deep-rooted trauma issues that they need to work on. These often develop from a childhood of feeling out of control, which leads to them wanting to know where their partner is at all times, and even telling them what they can and can’t do. Both of these are unhealthy in a relationship.
A controlling nature may not reveal itself immediately, and will often worsen over time. So, look out for early signals your partner can be controlling, such as negatively commenting on your outfit, asking how you’re spending your time, and making most of the decisions.
- History of infidelity
A history of infidelity suggests that a partner cannot be trusted to stay in a monogamous, committed relationship. Knowing this information can also affect trust levels, impacting your relationship further down the line.
Have an open conversation early on and find out if your partner has a history of infidelity. Some people ‘outgrow’ a habit of infidelity, if it’s a result of trauma or mental health issues in the past. Some people cheat once due to emotional strain in an unhealthy relationship, and never again.
However, it’s up to you how much you trust a partner with a history of infidelity.
- No friends
People with very few friends generally struggle to maintain relationships, which doesn’t bode well for your romantic relationship.
Your partner should have at least a few strong social bonds and a core group of friends with whom they spend their time and occasionally lean on for emotional support. Otherwise, there’s a risk that they could become dependent on you for both very quickly.
The Bottom Line
Are you and your partner really compatible? Truthfully, only you know the answer to that question.
Zodiacs, moon signs, tarot cards, palm readings, and love languages all influence your relationship and how well you work in harmony together. Looking into any of these factors can help you understand yourself and your partner on a much deeper level. But ultimately, it’s down to you two to decide what the future holds for you both romantically.